Review : The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning
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Feathered Empty nest reviews The Art of Swedish Death Cleaning
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Reading The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning : How to Free Yourself and Your Family from a Lifetime of Clutter was like having tea with an elegant, wise woman while she shares her guidance about the Swedish idea of döstädning or removing things you don’t want anymore to make your home more livable as you age and to simplify things for your family after you die.
Margareta Magnusson describes herself as “somewhere between eighty and one hundred years old.” She is a well traveled, mother of five. She has a very positive outlook on life, and death.
She guides us though what steps to take to relieve ourselves of unwanted items as well as how to communicate with our family about what items they are interested in and what items are valuable.
A few years ago my husband and I had to, entirely by ourselves, go through, sort and clean out my father-in-law’s house and all of his belongings after his passing. It was very difficult in our time of grief. We had no choice but to tackle it quickly. His home had a large mortgage and monthly utilities we had no way of paying. We had taken so much time off already during his illness that taking off more time was not an option, and it was in an area that has a peak selling season that was quickly waning. It was one of the hardest things we ever had to do. I went home and started cleaning out my closets. There was no way I was leaving my mess for my family to sort though.
I started going through my things but quickly got overwhelmed by all of the photos (ours and both of my in-laws) as well as memorabilia and antique items we had been given when my mother-in-law downsized. I was traumatized by the massive undertaking of cleaning out my father-in-laws belongings and started to feel the same way when I began to look at all of our things. I finally released many of our unwanted things after the reading the gentle advice Magnusson writes about on how to approach death cleaning.
It’s not sad or morbid
Death cleaning is not about dying and can start at any age. I think having an empty nest is a good time to explore your belongings and lighten our load of things. Magnusson says, “Sooner or later you will have your own infirmities, and then it will be nice to be able to enjoy the things you can still manage to do without the burden of too many things to look after…”
Where to start
Magnusson suggest we start in attics or basements, places we temporarily store items and often forget what is there. These things are easier to part with. Don’t start with sentiments photographs that will slow you down.
Next, pick a category
Choose an easy category of things that you have an abundance of and you can sort without any emotional attachment. She suggests clothing. This will keep you from getting overwhelmed at the beginning of the project.
Talk to your family
Let them know what you’re doing in case there are things they would like now. If you are still wanting to keep something you can put a small note on so they will know it’s for them when you are gone.
I can remember going to my grandmother’s and telling her I loved a small thing in her home and she would say, “take it.” I always felt bad about taking her thing until she told me how happy it made her to share them.
Keep what you love
The best way to decide what you want to keep is to think of looking around at all of your beloved things while all the things that clutter up your home are out of the way. Death cleaning is for you first to make your life better and later to help your loved ones.
Organize
She instructs us to organize the things we use most. As you do you will run across things that you want to discard. Make a place for your purse, keys, glasses or anything else you tend to misplace often. Watch for things you don’t mind shedding from your daily life while you are at it.
The Throw Away Box
Magnusson suggest you keep a small shoebox of things that only mean something to you and mark THROW AWAY on it. It can be filled with old letters, a ticket stub from a show, or a small keepsake of no value but brings back a special memory for you. This allows you to keep special items without guilt that can easily be discarded, or kept, after you are gone.
Take your time, but get started now
If you get a sudden urge to purge than get to it. If you take an area or category one weekend a month then you are making progress. If you need help enlist a friend to help you decide what to keep.
The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning is full of wonderful, inspiring stories to keep you going and a few great recipes as well.
